Learning to Love
by Tranquilized-Night
Summary: Lust, it is not an emotion. It is a materialistic instinct that pulls you toward the source with a hunger to devour and satiate. At least, this is what Ulquiorra believes, but his lover disagrees. Ichigo/Ulquiorra -Yaoi-
1. Part One

Title: Learning to Love

Rating: M

Pairing: Ichigo/Ulquiorra

Summary: Lust, it is not an emotion. It is a materialistic instinct that pulls you toward the source with a hunger to devour and satiate. At least, this is what Ulquiorra Cifer believes, but his lover disagrees. Ulquiorra doesn't understand but Ichigo does.

_**Warnings:**_ Yaoi, Male/Male, _strong _sexual situations, adult language, and content. _Severe _alternate universe. Maybe a little Emotional Angst. SLIGHT OOC (we'll see.) Set after Fake Karakura Town.

_**oOo**_

_Lust_. One word with many different meanings. Lust was a force that drove a person to extremes no matter who they were. Lust could save _and_ kill, in the end everyone is simply a victim. The mere thought of lust destroys innocence long before they knew it, all those bottled up needs deep within, all those fantasies circling around in a person's head was a rush and lust was a way to remain connected.

An addiction more potent than any tranquilizer on or off the black market. No matter how dangerous and lethal it was, lust was delicious. Lust is not an emotion, it is a materialistic instinct that pulls you toward the source with a hunger to devour and satiate needs.

Lust transforms everything around the eyes, the animalistic need increases and once you've given in, you can never go back. It is lust that can hit even the more emotionless of creatures.

Ulquiorra Cifer had become a victim.

Haunting provocative images ghosted across his mind trailing down his spine and overthrowing all sense of balance. The instinct surged through him groping and penetrating leaving him with an inability to escape. A stronger man could be brought to his knees with such sensations and Ulquiorra was no different.

Why did lust terrorize him so? One look, one smell, one taste, and he were captured. A treacherous thief stole every since of balancing logic away and it replaced it by such madness.

Giving in had been only too easy. He had no resistance, a slave he was. How could a creature like he, who didn't feel, who could see human emotions become a prisoner? All of the control and power Ulquiorra thought he possessed no longer existed.

Wasn't he _Hollow_? How can such a strange creature cause him to shiver and cling like magnet to metal?

A pleasurable scream left his lips as he lay underneath submerged in silk sheets and clinging to the strong biceps hovering above him. His body writhed on its own accord against the sex that intruded and caused him to sink deeper and deeper into endless slavery.

Human sweat clung to his cool body, the scent of sex heavy and hot. Ulquiorra's back arched up, gripping hands sliding around his prison guard's neck. His eyes lidded heavily with desire leaked out tears that matched the streaks down his face.

The master that he was a slave too caused him to shake and lose control, made more screams come to life.

A hot searing kiss covered Ulquiorra's mouth; he shamefully gave in as he pressed closer, chest to chest.

A strong human hand reached down between their pressed bodies and stroked his weeping arousal. Sensitive like flammable liquid to extreme heat, Ulquiorra's nails sank into his lover's back and he silently pleaded under the taste of his mouth for more. He was so ashamed, how could he be begging? Wasn't it enough he was already a slave to this torture? Why must the lust take control of him, why did it have to feel so sinfully amazing? Why did his body crave, why did his mind convulse and shut down and why the hell was he being treated like an Angel when all he happened to be was a worthless subordinate.

His thoughts were suddenly halted when their releases came for the third time that night and Ulquiorra's cries matched the throaty groans of his lover until all the hot liquid poured of them, leaving Ulquiorra a shaking mess of shame.

He was gently laid back down on the bed, not remembering how he had gotten like this. His legs locked around a muscled body, it was like he was a child clinging like fragile glass to something he really shouldn't be clinging to.

He hadn't noticed it before but the lump in his hollowed throat and the tears leaking caused his lover to cup his cheeks and kiss them tenderly.

Ulquiorra swallowed that lump and closed his eyes, his arms going limp and falling back to the bed.

How did his logic get so messed up?

"Look at me, Ulquiorra," his lover commanded, "_please?_"

Why did he have to say please? Ulquiorra thought. He was created to do the bidding of his masters and his lover was obviously one of them. Just a different kind of master. He obeyed and he stared up into light brown eyes that held something Ulquiorra couldn't quite grasp. "Yes, Ichigo-sama?"

Ichigo's rolled his eyes. "Ulquiorra – stop it with the honorifics," he said quietly and brushed a piece of hair out of the Arrancar's pale face.

"I don't understand," Ulquiorra said solemnly, "why are we doing this? Why do I want you?"

Ichigo arched an eyebrow. "I could ask you the same question but it would get you nowhere," he said reaching for a towel beside the bed to clean the two of them up. "You were the one who sought me out. Can't you just accept that you feel, Ulquiorra?" Ichigo asked softly.

"No," Ulquiorra said cryptically, "I don't feel. I have instincts, Ichigo-sama." He watched Ichigo's large hand run the towel over his body. His tough cool skin shivered at the touch and instinctively he parted his legs so Ichigo could finish cleaning him up. If Ulquiorra had to serve someone, it might as well be Ichigo.

He was useless to Aizen now. He had failed in his duty to protect Las Noches. Ulquiorra had been bested by his new master, by Ichigo.

Ichigo grumbled at the honorific. "Why don't you just go with it? Enjoy yourself."

"How?" Ulquiorra asked. "I was created for a purpose, Ichigo-sama."

"Just because someone had you created for a purpose doesn't mean you have to do it," he said tossing the towel aside and shifting on the bed to lie down next to Ulquiorra. "Not everything is a deep seated thought process. Although, I do wonder what made you come to my window the other night…"

"Lust."

"That's an emotion."

"No," Ulquiorra rebuked softly, "It's a materialistic instinct that every creature has. The only difference is I've never felt it before until the day I saw you. It's why I tried to kill you and protect you at the same time."

Ichigo tilted his head thoughtfully. "What do you mean by that?"

"I told Aizen-sa-" he paused before correcting himself. "_Aizen_ that you were trash. I knew you weren't. You were different and you gave me this lust that I couldn't control, so I decided to deal with you personally."

How complicated was Ulquiorra's mind? Ichigo thought as he observed the beautiful Espada. He was uncommonly pale, shoulder length black hair, his mask set to one side, broken with horns. His eyes the deepest color of green that Ichigo had ever seen and they were wide and sad. The streaks that went down his eyes didn't help and it made Ichigo's heart ache. He was like a beautiful glass doll that wasn't created with a smile.

He was an elegant Arrancar and Ichigo hadn't been able to refuse. Ulquiorra had looked desperate, the need for something that he had no idea about. His so-called instincts driving him and he didn't know why. He didn't think he felt because he was a Hollow but that was not true. Mindless Hollow's ate souls because they felt emotion but the emotion was pain. Apparently, Ulquiorra was still in the mindset of pain and he knew nothing else.

Ichigo didn't like that, not one bit. He wanted to change that and he would. He just had to change this being's mind and teach him and one of these days, Ichigo would make him smile. If only for a half a second, Ichigo vowed it.

He shifted and leaned into Ulquiorra capturing his frowning lips and turning them over as he gave in to him.

Ulquiorra's body shivered and Ichigo drew the covers around them and pulled Ulquiorra into his chest where the slender man hesitantly laid his body against the much needed warmth. Ichigo leaned back against the headboard of his bed and slid his hand up and own Ulquiorra's back.

Nothing else was said, Ulquiorra was sent further into his mind of confusion, and he hadn't noticed that his arms had tightened around Ichigo's body.

But Ichigo did. He smiled tenderly at Ulquiorra; a deep affection having been brought on by his emotional naivety.

Ichigo listened closely to Ulquiorra's even breaths. Ulquiorra had absolutely no idea that he was filled with nothing but emotion. He was perhaps the most emotional Arrancar out of every one of them that he had ever met. He just didn't know it.

Ichigo stroked his raven black hair and curled some pieces between his fingers. Accepting Ulquiorra's advances had been easy, sure he'd never given the Espada a thought before that night but his heart liked to latch onto people who were in need. It was a natural instinct of his. He couldn't turn a person a way. It was a weakness and strength at the same time.

It was with these sorts of thoughts that he was lulled into a soft slumber.

**oOo**

Ulquiorra awoke instantly a few hours later. His eyes searched the darkened room and he could feel the cold wind brush in from the open window on the right. He was lying with his cheek against Ichigo's left breast and part of his torso pressed into the human's side. There was a sensation of severe burning and throbbing pain as though someone had decided to torture him with those human hot pokers.

It was usually like this after the numbing effect wore off.

From the little experience he had with humans they needed at least eight full hours of sleep. Ichigo liked to run on less which bothered Ulquiorra, he was still a teenager in human eyes even though he didn't look it. Ulquiorra rose and his eyes searched Ichigo's still relaxed back. Human skin was a strange thing; he thought deftly gliding a finger along the side of Ichigo's muscle.

It was soft and yielded to his touch strangely while Ulquiorra's was much thicker. It also radiated a strange type of heat while his remained a few degrees above freezing temperature. When Ichigo's skin was pressed into his, it was kind of like a fire igniting. He was instantly warmed and it shocked the very core of his body.

Ichigo however was not a normal human. In fact, Ulquiorra wasn't entirely sure what he was. He was a shinigami, hollow, and a human all in one mix. Ulquiorra was hungry but that meant traveling to Hueco Mundo. He had given Ichigo a promise that he wouldn't steal human souls. Not that he wanted to in the first place, they were nasty when they had no reiatsu in them.

Gazing down at his nakedness, he pressed a hand flat to his chest, his thumb brushing across the tail end of the tattooed four. A constant reminder of what he was. Aizen may no longer be his superior but the endless despair remained. He slid to the side grimacing and taking a deep breath from the agony in his lower back. It was a strange sort of pain because it lingered inside of him, but then – Ulquiorra would find his body warming back up and sliding closer to endure more pleasurable torment.

His resistance was futile.

"Where are you going?" Ichigo murmured having felt the rising of the bed.

Ulquiorra paused. "I am hungry, may I leave, Ichigo-sama?"

Ichigo opened his eyes. "Never ask if you can leave, Ulquiorra. You are free to come and go at will. Be careful though." He observed the beautifully naked figure in front of his bed. It was like the Angel of Death.

Ulquiorra scowled very slightly at Ichigo's concern. "I do not need your concern, Ichigo-sama," he said not all that comfortable with the way his instincts stirred whenever Ichigo became concerned.

"Yah, yah you don't need it but I'm giving anyway. Come back if you wish." It was with those words that Ichigo turned on his side, the sheet slowly slipping off his torso revealing his chiseled back and most of his tanned legs.

Something stirred deep inside of Ulquiorra as he reacted by leaning over the bed and sliding the cover back over Ichigo's frame. He then proceeded to dress, tying the black sash around his waist and buttoning his coat-tails.

This had been the second time, Ulquiorra had showed up. The first time was when Ichigo wasn't living alone and their encounter had been so loud that neither of them still weren't sure why they had never been caught.

And now, Ichigo was on his own and Ulquiorra wondered why exactly. He was barely seventeen. A slightly young human to be on their own. But then again, Ichigo wasn't just a human.

He left the way he had come in, his eyes flickering back as he Sonidoed through the darkened skies. The words of a soft good-bye whispering into the back of his mind _'come back if you wish.'_

Ulquiorra's confusion continued through the night until he was high enough to use his energy and part the world, revealing a flood of black ominous reiatsu. He entered the Garganta gracefully and disappeared from his new master's world.

* * *


	2. Part Two

**oOo**

The apartment had way too many windows, Ichigo thought when he stumbled into the kitchen yawning and working his way around for some coffee. The sun was blazing in spraying everything with yellow and white light. It was strange not having Yuzu tormenting him with endless plates of breakfast and his father invading his privacy every ten minutes of his teenage life.

He missed Yuzu but he definitely didn't miss the invasion of privacy. He'd moved everything in three days ago. Soul Society had finally decided to compensate Ichigo for the war effort and his shinigami duties considering Karakura Town had the highest rate of shinigami deaths. He got paid the salary of a Vice Captain, considering that was the level it took to stay alive while fighting blood thirsty Adjucas and Gillian.

Ishida had helped him pick out new furniture set yesterday and it was crimson and black much like Zangetsu's attacks. It fit with the room nicely; the four eyed Quincy was really good at arranging the furniture to where it looked like he had endless room. He may be a cocky little bastard but at least he had taste.

There was a picture over the fire place of William Shakespeare encrusted in a black ancient frame and beyond the living was an attached kitchen with a bar and black counter top to divide the space. An array of bay windows ran along an entire side showing off a small arboretum in the distance. It wasn't a bad view, but Ichigo had never been one to stop and stare at the scenery.

The bathroom was humongous, it had a personal shower and a large bath combined. It was why Ichigo chose the particular place. A little pricy for your average seventeen-year-old but when you converted Soul Society currency to human, you were on the receiving end of quite a bit and so Ichigo allowed himself to splurge a bit.

Yuzu and Karin still came by every other day, which Ichigo never minded and his father stopped in a couple times a week. Ichigo was still a little jaded by that old man. If there was one thing Ichigo hated, it was important secrets and his father being a former shinigami was one hell of a secret. Ichigo had never been close to Isshin, he'd been closer to his siblings who knew a lot more about what he had been going through before he became a shinigami.

His thoughts dwindled from his family to his guest Espada. He plucked the toasted bagels from the toaster and applied the cream cheese while trying to figure Ulquiorra's mind out. He could bet that his past was haunting even if he didn't remember it, the marked traces were there. Just like a shinigami an Arrancar retained their personality and mind set when they died as humans even if they weren't aware of it.

A hint of a presence niggled against Ichigo's senses. He smiled at his bagel, Ulquiorra was a master at hiding his reiatsu but Ichigo had slept with him twice now and he knew Ulquiorra's aura, knew his scent, and he gazed up and locked eyes with the silent Arrancar.

He stood in front of the bar observing Ichigo.

"Morning Ulquiorra," Ichigo addressed offering him a drink of coffee and actual food.

"Ichigo-sama." Hesitantly, Ulquiorra took a sip of Ichigo's coffee, having never had it he stared strangely before placing it back down. "Peculiar."

Ichigo chuckled roughly. "In more ways than one. Although, coffee is an acquired taste. I started drinking it to get up when I was in middle school."

Ulquiorra observed his words, he knew from the information he'd collected about humans that they went through an instructional institute. "Humans tire easily," Ulquiorra said factually.

"Yah, this gigai of mine is a bitch at times," Ichigo said breaking off his bagel and offering it to Ulquiorra who shook his head. But he did take the coffee cup again. Ichigo thought he looked kind of cute. He would eye it with scrutiny before drinking it.

Ichigo wondered how Ulquiorra would be if he was on a caffeine high or sugar rush. He fought not to laugh. Perhaps then, Ichigo could make Ulquiorra understand human emotion and make him loosen up.

"You are amused," Ulquiorra commented, "your eyes they are – glittering."

"Yah," Ichigo said with a sly grin. "I just wondered how you would react if you were suddenly put on a caffeine high or sugar rush."

"This is a stimulant?" Ulquiorra said taking another drink and handing it back.

"Stimulant for this human gigai," Ichigo said sliding up to pour another cup and add the sugar and crème to it.

Ulquiorra watched him. "Humans are terribly strange."

"They're not too different from Arrancars I don't think. When it comes to personality anyway," Ichigo said placing it back down between them. "Some are assholes, some are alright, some are dumb, and some are smart."

"I've read and witnessed much," Ulquiorra said grimly. "I seek to understand and know more."

Ichigo was going to have to get used to this, Ulquiorra sounded like he were awaiting a death sentence. Perhaps more coffee would brighten him up? "I'll do what I can," he said before checking the time. "Ah, shit!" he exclaimed scrambling up. "I have class in ten minutes, I completely forgot." He rushed from the room, surprising Ulquiorra by the sudden outburst.

He was definitely more energetic than most humans he had researched. He slowly walked into the bedroom and paused as a flare of heat slipped down inside of him. Why must he always get this way? Ulquiorra wondered hopelessly. Ichigo was half naked, rushing around the room and hunting for his clothes.

"Where the hell did Yuzu put my clean uniforms?" he asked out loud.

Ulquiorra watched as every muscle in the teen's back shifted, from the indented blades of his shoulders down into the curve of his back. He pressed the side of his head to the wall and watched Ichigo cover his body with each article of clothing.

"Do you always have instruction at this time?"

"Five days a week," Ichigo answered buttoning the cuffs and tucking his shirt in. He grabbed his jacket and paused when he noticed Ulquiorra just staring at him, looking absolutely confused, sad, and even a bit flushed all at the same time.

Ichigo smiled and slowed down; he took his bag and stepped in front of Ulquiorra. "I'll be back," he said and before Ulquiorra could comprehend the words his mouth was taken captive and fell into the hot prison, opening his mouth and tasting the hint of coffee and Ichigo combined.

He shuddered visibly when Ichigo's finger tips glided down the side of his neck gently. "Don't get too bored, while I'm gone," he said pulling back.

"Okay," Ulquiorra said flatly.

Ichigo chuckled before he glided out of the apartment; Ulquiorra walked over to the bedroom window and peered down at Ichigo's figure rushing down the street. Loneliness and despair seemed to cave in on Ulquiorra as he continued to stare into nothingness, Ichigo was gone and he was confused on what to do.

He didn't like being alone, it didn't suit him. For a while he walked around the apartment taking in the things that interested Ichigo. He paused on the picture above the mantle and read the name off.

There was a book in the bedroom with that same name. Curious, Ulquiorra went to get it. _Hamlet_ was emblazoned on the front in gold letters. He sat down on Ichigo's usual side of the bed and flipped the page open.

**oOo**

"Hey Ichigo, you know since you have a place all to yourself, you should throw a massive party!" Keigo declared at lunch time.

Ichigo stared at him as if he were crazy. "Keigo, I got my own apartment so I could have peace and quiet. A party completely ruins that objective."

"Ah, you're no fun! Chad won't, Inoue won't, and now you won't! Dammit, I want a party!" Keigo complained and then turned his eyes on Mizuiro who hummed.

"Don't look at me," the smaller teen said bonking his friend on the head with the flip part of his cell.

"Kurosaki-kun, why were you late this morning?" Inoue asked as she finished her strange lunch concoction.

Ichigo shrugged. "I woke late and uh - had things to take care of and school slipped my mind."

Ishida smirked. "Everything slips your mind, Kurosaki."

"Shut up," Ichigo scowled as he thought about the raven haired Espada at home. He wondered if it would be safe to talk to Urahara about him. Ichigo wanted him to stick around and he also wanted to protect Ulquiorra from Aizen. If he got wind that his Fourth Espada was alive he would be trying very hard to get him back and Ichigo knew from the way Ulquiorra acted that he didn't want to return to Aizen's white prison. He knew that if anyone would understand a person's difficult situation it would be Urahara. Ichigo trusted him the most.

"Have you gotten everything moved in, Ichigo?" Chad asked concerned.

"Yah, I did thanks to you. If I had to rely on dad, it'd be a year before he finished," he said rolling his eyes.

"He means well," Inoue said smiling.

"Sure, like his lies," Ichigo said jadedly. "Meant so fucking well to keep the truth from his son."

Ishida sighed and flicked his glasses up his nose. "Fathers can be real assholes."

Ichigo nodded his agreement. Inoue didn't seem to understand. Mizuiro smiled slightly. "So can mothers."

"And sisters!" Keigo piped in. "My Nee-san won't stop talking about baldy!"

Ichigo snorted. "Ikkaku is owned by Yumichika."

Keigo shuddered. "Don't ever – tell her that," he said shaking his head. "I don't want to be on the receiving end of her anger."

Mizuiro grinned. "Be no different to all the other guys she converted."

Keigo snickered and then looked over his shoulder fearfully as though his sister would hear them talking and rush up to him with a good old fashion punch ready.

Poor Inoue was completely lost in conversation until Honsho came over and began to hug her around the waist and Tatsuki saving Inoue with an uppercut to Honsho's nose. The typical day, Ichigo thought shaking his head and finishing off his bottle of water. Not one single person was any wiser to his lover.

That was good. He didn't need a panicked uproar started. Not yet anyway.

He was surprised when he got home; he saw Ulquiorra sitting on the armchair with his leg crossed over the other and a book in his hand reading intently.

Ulquiorra however abandoned it completely when he saw Ichigo.

"That's a good book," Ichigo commented.

"Your portrait caught my attention," Ulquiorra said.

"Yah, Shakespeare," Ichigo said. "One of the most amazing playwrights of all times. No one writes like that anymore."

"He is dead," Ulquiorra said factually. "It says here he died quite a long time ago."

"He's ancient. But his stuff still lives on." Ulquiorra closed the book and handed it to him. "Are you done?"

"No but –"

"Keep it," Ichigo persisted. "You should always finish a good book once you start it. It would be an insult to the dead man's honor if you didn't."

"I will pick it up later," Ulquiorra said placing it on the glass table.

"I've been thinking all day and I think it's a good idea if we tell Urahara about you," Ichigo said shrugging out of his jacket and laying it aside.

Ulquiorra frowned. "Urahara Kisuke the man who created the Hougyoku?"

"Yeah, he's a good guy."

"He's dangerous. He's one of two people that make Aizen nervous," Ulquiorra told him.

"Oh? Who's the other?" Ichigo asked kicking out of his shoes.

"You."

Ichigo snorted. "I ain't that strong," he said smirking.

"Not yet but you have the power to be stronger," he said softly. "If anyone I know has that power it is you. You seem to gain more power with every battle. Did you know that an Arrancar gains more power with every battle? The more battles they complete the more reiatsu they take in. It is a natural part of an Arrancar's life it is what makes a shinigami nervous about us Arrancar possessing their powers."

The more Ulquiorra explained to Ichigo the more he found the real Espada behind the grim and confused nature. He was a materialistic genius and he picked up things with the snap of a finger. The only thing that Ulquiorra lacked in was human nature and his emotions were stunted, still in their infancy.

"We exceed the limits that they cannot."

"I became what I was by accident; Urahara trained me after I lost my powers the first time." He left the living room to get changed.

Ulquiorra's frown deepened. "The first time?" He quickly got up and followed his lover and was once again graced with the sight of his upper torso. "What happened the first time?"

"I was a human who could see, speak, and touch ghosts," Ichigo explained, "as a child I couldn't tell the difference between humans and ghosts that's how in tuned I was with them. I met Rukia the night my family's lives were in danger. She was almost killed and she handed me her powers. You should know all about the Hougyoku being in her body-?"

Ulquiorra inclined his head. "I am aware of the situation."

"Rukia's brother came to get her and I chased after them. He stripped me of the power I took off Rukia and I would have died easily had Urahara not stepped in. He gave me back my powers by using a perverse way of retrieving them; I became a Vizard because of it."

"Vizard; a shinigami having undergone Hollowfication research. Initially, it was a fail for Aizen. It did not yield the results he wished."

"Well, it yielded results he just didn't know it because Urahara saved him and sent them into hiding."

"Ichigo-sama," Ulquiorra said stepping closer to Ichigo. "I'm still very confused. These instincts I've never had-"

Ichigo brushed his finger underneath Ulquiorra's chin and gently kissed him. "It is emotion, Ulquiorra."

"I don't understand how a muscle yields such things as emotion," he said running his finger tip around Ichigo's bare chest where his heart was. "How could I feel it if I don't have that muscle?"

"It's not the muscle that gives you the feeling, Ulquiorra. It's more than that. Sometimes you just have to go with it. I can't explain it and I suck at doing so. Let's try it a different way."

Ulquiorra's face was filled with more confusion. Ichigo ducked his head and placed his lips to the Arrancar's neck causing him to gasp at the sensation. "What do you feel?" Ichigo whispered into his ear.

The kisses continued burning hot along his neck near his Hollow hole.

"Heat… lust?"

"You feel hot when my skin touches yours. You feel cold when you touch ice, you have desire, and you have needs. You feel attraction…" Ulquiorra's arms snaked around Ichigo's neck and moaned whenever Ichigo nipped against him.

"I don't understand. How do you do that?"

"Close your eyes and if I kiss you, you will feel the heat, you feel my lips. You know they are there but you can't see them. Why must you see to believe? Why don't you trust those instincts of yours and believe that you can feel. Emotion comes from every part of your body. Whether you're a human or not makes no difference. We all feel something. You feel despair that is a big emotion, Ulquiorra. One of the strongest emotions in the human world. Sometimes there is no understanding what you can't see. You will never understand because it's not meant to be understood."

"I don't know," Ulquiorra said holding onto Ichigo. "I feel something other than despair but I don't understand. Your words I understand but I don't know how it's done."

"I think it will take experiences to learn, Ulquiorra. You've done nothing but feel negative emotions. It's positive emotions that you don't believe in because you've never felt them."

"I feel good when you touch me," Ulquiorra confessed, "I become something different. I don't trust myself, I act before I can stop. I constantly lust and I know it is not what I should feel."

"Why is that?" Ichigo asked stroking Ulquiorra's back gently. "Why can't you feel good?"

Ulquiorra frowned. "Because what I want doesn't matter."

Ichigo had a long way to go before Ulquiorra could finally understand his own words and feelings. "Ulquiorra it does matter what you want. It matters to me." He backed the Arrancar up until his legs touched the end of the bed.

His desire surged at Ichigo's movements. He felt that agonizing need victimize his senses. Ichigo's fingers continued to move down his spine, so tenderly. It felt so good to be touched but it also seemed so wrong. Why did he feel wrong and Ichigo didn't?

"If you want me to touch you, kiss you, and put myself inside of you all you have to do is get my attention. I can be a blockhead sometimes and I don't notice these things when I should. Also, it remains the same way if you don't want me to touch you. If you don't want me to kiss you and if you want me to keep all that I am away from all of you. Tell me."

"I want you to touch me, Ichigo-sama," Ulquiorra said closing his eyes and placing his mouth to Ichigo's neck.

"If there is anything you don't like let me know, get my attention. No matter what it is. I want to know. You are free to do what you will. I will never force you to do anything."

"I can't be free," Ulquiorra said softly. "I don't know how."

Ichigo thought about this. "Then do what you want, Ulquiorra. Don't think about others, _what do you want?_"

Ulquiorra reached up and kissed Ichigo's lips, his hands moving down his lover's body and rubbing his arousal in answer.


End file.
